Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
