Fine. I'll sleep in my office
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
