Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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