dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
