Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
