So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
