Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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