she was so not down for the gang bang
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
