she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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