ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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