Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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