i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
