don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
