I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize