you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
