Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize