Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
