it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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