? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
