I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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