We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
