I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
