You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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