I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
