North Korea, Best Korea!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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