All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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