kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
