Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
