I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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