New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
