She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize