you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
