I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
