I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
