It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
