she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize