yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They have beer where we have blood.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
