Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
