Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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