Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
