If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
