bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
