No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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