I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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