I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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