that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just want to make out with him forever
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
