tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
