But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
