We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
