fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
