he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize