He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
