As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
