Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
