Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
