She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
