i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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