he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
