your parents love me but you hate me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i think my cat just said my name.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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