So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
