Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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