how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize