Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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