I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize