I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Randomize
