We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
