Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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