Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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