Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
