google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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