he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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