how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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