I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
