Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
