dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
